Catch the blade

Earlier this week I was at yet another interview, in yet another city somewhere in the US and I was asked a question that I often get asked in normal conversation. But something about the formality of the interview setting and the consciousness of my answer made me think about it in a different light. The question was about how I got into fencing. Since it's a rather unique sport and many people don't know anybody who fences, this comes up a lot. So I told the story.

My elementary school was near a sports club called MTK - they didn't just have a fencing club but football (soccer) and track and field as well as some other sports I can't even remember now. In the beginning of the school year - I think I was in 2nd grade at the time - a couple of coaches came on a recruiting tour. All the kids were ushered into the gym and they did a short demo of fencing and then they said we would all be tested to see if we would be good fencers. The test included one of the coaches holding a blade (just a bare blade of a foil, no handle or guard) in one hand and one child placing a hand just over the blade. Then the coach would let the blade fall to the ground and we would have to try to catch it. A reflex test, basically. It's true that quick reflexes are pretty important in fencing, but whether or not an 8 year old catches a blade on the first try has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not they would have potential to be good fencers. But as I look back and remember this day - and I am sure that's not exactly how it happened - it seemed like most important thing in the world at the time. I am pretty sure that even the kids who didn't catch the blade could sign up for fencing if they wanted to; but in reality, I think I would have been completely devastated had I not caught the blade. So yes, I did catch the blade. And I did go home that afternoon and told my parents excitedly about fencing. I told them I wanted to go sign up for lessons and go to the club. I don't remember what their first reaction was, but I bet - correct me if I am wrong - they thought that this would be a short lived enthusiasm. The rest is now history. I went to MTK the next week. I started learning fencing. For nearly 10 years I went back every afternoon for a couple of hours. Of course it's pointless to ask "what if?" but sometimes I like to remind myself of how experiences have shaped my life. Fencing is the single one ting that had the most impact on my life ever since that day in 2nd grade.

I learned more in that fencing gym about life than in all the schooling that I have done throughout the years. I met my best friend who I am still very close to even though we haven't lived on the same continent in over 10 years. I fell in love for the first time there; met my first boyfriend there. I traveled all over the country and Europe with the team, which were all amazing experiences. When I decided to come to the US, my only request was to be able to keep fencing during the year I was an exchange student. During that year, I learned even more: a new weapon (sabre), traveling around the US, meeting so many new people, going to Chicago where I met the coaches who took a chance on me and gave me a full scholarship to go to college. Worth about ~30,000 dollars at that time (per year). Not too shabby. Everything that followed, my life today, my dreams and my hopes, they all started at the fencing gym.

I don't know why but today as I was boarding a bus for yet another interview in yet another city, I had the sudden thought that me catching that blade 20 years ago was the moment when everything was determined. I guess it's more that if I hadn't caught that blade, everything might have been different. I might have been disappointed and not wanted to tell my parents about the whole fencing thing and I might not have wanted to go sign up for classes at the club. And then there is no point thinking that line of thought any further because then who knows where I would be today?

We are where we are in the present moment as a result of a million, billion individual moments that all had some influence on us, on our decisions, on our paths. A combination of all those experiences make us who we are; no more and no less. Some of those moments might be more important than others, but we might not realize that until much much later. I suppose there is no point thinking about these things too much, except that maybe we could learn something about ourselves and the things, which influence us the most. As I am going through a potentially life changing process where I might have to make some big decisions it might be good to consider such things. It's interesting that these interviews have had this effect on me, thinking about how I've gotten to where I am now and where to go from here.