Lacing my shoes up

Last week, at least for a few days, running took on a whole new meaning. For the first time in a very long time, I ran 4 times in one week, felt excited about it and for the most part, felt really good doing it (the weather has a lot to do with it of course, besides the various emotions that needed to be released after the terrifying events of last week). I thought a lot (perhaps too much) about the whole thing; I tried to focus on the positives. Like being very grateful for everything. Being healthy and having two legs to run on were the main focus. And other things we take for granted.

Then as the events of Friday were enfolding in Boston, there was more to be grateful for. Also, as soon as I heard about what was happening, I wanted to go for a run. And I did. And it felt so good.

Now that it all seems to be over, people naturally want answers. But I am not sure what people are expecting. Could there ever really be a satisfying answer to all the why’s?? Or even one that could provide some sense to closure, possibly peace. Not likely. And yet, people try to come up with reasons and when that is the case, it’s very easy to fall into oversimplifying potential motives, labeling people are good versus evil and so on. Last night I went to see a new movie by Mira Nair, The reluctant fundamentalist, at the Tribeca Film Festival. The issues it brought up in the film could not have been more relevant. Good versus evil; the effects of discrimination on people; being caught between cultures and between a person’s commitment to family, country versus his or her commitment to him or herself.

Beyond what happened to the victims of the bombings, the stories of the two young men who are accused of this horrendous act of violence also makes me incredibly sad. It’s easy to say that there is a good and an evil side to this story, like so many other stories. It’s more difficult to admit that there is so much more that plays into the actions of individuals who for one reason or another commit acts such as this one. Just two weeks ago, the lives of the two men involved still had the potential to take a completely different turn. Life for them could have gone another way. What gets me about the whole story is realizing that they are (were) human beings like any of us and that the 19 year old kid who could possibly face the death penalty could have been any other 19 year old college freshman I run into daily on campus. But for them, something has gone so wrong.

The conclusion I have come to is that given a set of circumstances, almost all of us could be in the shoes of that 19-year-old. I was lucky enough to be born in a free country, to never have experienced war or terror first hand, to have had the most open family and upbringing. We are born as blank slates and all of our experiences mold us into the people we are when we die. We have a certain predisposition to respond to those experiences one way or another; but in the end, we don’t fully understand what influences are most crucial when it comes to shaping a person’s mind and behavior.

In the end, an act of evil was committed by people who are likely way too complex for us to be able to simply label them with a single adjective. For me, this all comes down to one thing at the end. We are constantly evolving beings, nearly all of us and we constantly influence each other. Perhaps if the people who have committed acts of evil have been given a different set of experiences throughout their lives, they would have turned out somewhat differently. I might be completely wrong on this, but in the end, being as caring and compassionate as possible with those around us can only have a positive effect, so why not try a little harder.

With that said, and slightly unrelated to all this, I am ready to get back into running. Spring is finally here, the 2013 NYC Marathon registration has opened, and I have a guaranteed spot. This is going to be a big year to run a major marathon, to show the world that runners are not quitters. So I am lacing my shoes up once again, and hopefully with that, I will find the words to write again too. 

Terror

It's sad that it took today's events to get me to sit down and write again.

I talked to a friend today with whom I ran the 2010 NYC Marathon and she said that as a runner and as someone who had participated in a marathon before, she felt like she was being attacked. I feel the same way today. I may not have been in Boston, I may not have ever run the marathon there, but as a marathon runner, as an athlete, as a person, I feel like I have been attacked.

For me and I am sure for many others, running is a safe place. It's where I go when I am sad, stressed, happy, tired or just need to gather some thoughts. Marathons are celebrations of all of that. Of the time and energy people devote to their passion, of the strength and perseverance of a person who can push him or herself to the limits. Crossing the finish line three times now has been the most joyous and emotional place I have been in my entire life.

Today, the world is a little darker, a little sadder. For many people, that joy was never felt. It was tears and terror instead. Senseless terror, which is always is. But this one hit too close to home. We have to try to go on because we cannot let terrorists to change the way we live; that would mean giving in. Running is a safe place for me. It will still be a safe place. Nobody can take that away from me.