Last night was unusually quiet at the ER. Not that anybody ever complains about that, maybe the volunteers. Standing around with the charge nurse, we were looking on the computer at the list of people waiting outside. Only a few. I have worked with her on several occasions and she is quite cynical. Loves to make fun of the people who come in for stupid non-issues. I always imagined this happened; the only time I went to an ER as a patient, I was pretty sure that the nurses were laughing at me, having come in because something was in my eye. Having suffered a scratched cornea, I felt somewhat better about myself, after all I had somewhat of a real problem - only later did it occur to me that it most likely wasn't the object in my eye that scratched my cornea, rather, the hard plastic tubing they used to pour saline in my eye for two hours. Ever since that - and since starting to volunteer at an ER - I have been a firm believer that you should under no circumstances go to the ER unless you are in fact dying, bleeding uncontrollably or have a body part detached.
Ok, so last night, one patient in the waiting room complained of a hurting foot. He also requested a cane. This happens quite often: older people sometimes living in shelters need something like a cane, a warm place to sit, some dinner. I can sympathize. With this particular gentleman, the interesting thing was that when his name was called, he didn't answer - no, he wasn't deaf - and only later when I became suspicious and checked his wrist tag did I realize that he just wanted to sit in the waiting room, probably knowing all too well that he would be discharged in no time after actually having seen a doctor.
But the highlight of the evening came a little later. I went to get a patient from the waiting room who was to go to one of the rooms designated as the gynecology exam room. Even though she had one of those ambiguous names, I didn't even look to confirm the sex since she was going to the Gyn room. Pretty obvious. However, I was quite a bit confused when she answered my calling her name; she looked like a man. Oh well, that happens. As I escorted her to her room, we passed the nurse's station and the charge nurse gave me a puzzled look. I just put up my hands and mouthed the words "I dunno". When I came back she asked if I had double checked her name. Yup. Then she motioned me closer to her screen and opened up the patient's admission file. "Read this!" Under reason for being in the ER stood this sentence: on patients last visit to the ER 5 months ago (!), she took a pregnancy test which was positive, she is back to check if she is still pregnant.
I just have three things to say:
1. Einstein said it best: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
2. Some people should not have children!
3. Every politician - no matter what side of the aisle they are from - should be required to spend a few nights in his or her local emergency room before they were even allowed to open their mouths about issues such as social services, reproductive rights, abortion and most importantly, health care reform!
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