Just breathe

My life has been a mixture of complete chaos, occasional panic and anxiety, moments when I felt an intense sense of purpose and satisfaction, moments when all I could do was cry and some when I was laughing so hard there was wine coming out of my nose. I have gone probably the longest time without writing a post, without going for a run or hanging out with some of my very close friends. I knew that this time would be crazy to say the least, very difficult, and rather lonely. Interestingly, the last thing I feel is loneliness. I guess I don't have enough time to start feeling lonely. I do feel like time has strangely sped up: the weeks and months are going by so fast I can't keep up. I need more time!!!!

Being in a constant crunch for time, we try to do as many things in the little time we have as we can. Multitasking, I would say, is a disease of our workaholic society and we have to do it in order to keep up. My yoga teacher was telling us about a study that was conducted by psychologists, which showed that people who made resolutions often failed because one of the results of multitasking all the time was the exhaustion of the frontal lobe of our brains, which is responsible for making decisions about whether or not, for example, one should have a slice of chocolate cake or a fruit cup instead. Apparently, our exhausted brains give in much easier to temptations like a slice of a chocolate cake or sitting on the couch instead of going out for a run. It makes a lot of sense to me. Not necessarily about choices made between healthy and unhealthy, but sometimes I can definitely feel that exhaustion and the inability to make certain decisions.

After just an hour of doing yoga, I feel so peaceful, calm, rested, so different! Focusing on the breath, mindful movement through the poses, taking the time to look within and try to get in touch with that "inner world" that we so often ignore. And often, we simply forget to breathe. We take shallow breaths to keep us alive, or even hold our breaths when we are struggling or stressed. Yoga focuses the mind on the breath and thereby taking the focus away from the inner chaos. It is surprising what a big difference a couple of deep breaths can make. Even if I am sitting at work, feeling the panic rise in me, I try to stop for a second, take a few deep breaths, clear the mind, stop the noise, and then inevitably, every time, I calm down. It's amazing how powerful something so simple as the breath can be. It's something we take for granted, a reflex, the thing we all do because we need air to stay alive, and yet, we often do it without insight, so shallow that it is only enough to keep us alive, but not to nourish.

When I am struggling, mentally, emotionally or physically, I tell myself: just breathe.