Networking

No matter what anyone says or thinks, it's the single most important thing when it comes to moving ahead in life: networking. I used to not be a big fan. I was shy and I used to think that trying to make connections made me an ass-kisser and I would have done anything not to seem like trying to kiss ass. I always wanted to reach things on my own, completely on my own. It was a romantic idea that talent and hard work alone could get me to wherever I needed to get.

Then I realized that it wasn't at all about kissing ass.

I have been to many of those career seminars where representatives of pharmaceutical companies and consulting firms tell bright eyed graduate students about how they got their jobs and what they look for when hiring. What will make your resume stick out from the thousands of other resumes that land on a person's desk? Connections. If that person already knows your name, he or she will take a closer look at that resume maybe before he looks at the other ones; even if those others are more qualified or seem better on paper. On paper.

I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was at a cocktail party for the Cornell Medical School 50 year reunion. Besides the Hungarian ex-fencer gynecologist, I was also introduced to Dr. Miller, who happens to be the Associate Dean for Student Affairs at Cornell, and the most cheerful, talkative person who told me 2 seconds after we shook hands that he absolutely loved mentoring students and how great it is that I want to apply to medical school and that I should absolutely come by his office sometime.

I hesitated for a few weeks. At a cocktail party, people say all kinds of things, but in reality, he must be so busy and besides, what am I going to talk to him about? It's not like he can really help me get into med school, or tell me what to do. But I thought, hell, what do I have to lose? I emailed him, quickly reminded him where we had met and who I was and asked if I can come by his office to talk sometime. He replied within hours and told me to make an appointment with his assistant before the middle of next week since he'll be leaving for vacation. I couldn't find the phone number for his assistant so I just went by the office this morning hoping to find a nice secretary and make an appointment for later. Naturally, Dr. Miller was free and ushered me into his office quickly; I had no clue what I wanted to say to him. No clue at all. Oh, how smart! Good job, Julie!

So I am sitting there, he is smiling at me, so cheerful still, asking what I wanted to talk about. Well, I was hoping he would tell me what he meant by loving to be a mentor. But yeah, I couldn't really say that. Oh, please, think of something intelligent to say! I somehow pulled it off. We talked for only a few minutes, he was asking about my grades, scores, work, plans. He thought I would be a wonderful candidate! I think he wouldn't just say that to anyone. In any case, he told me to definitely apply to Cornell when the time came and to keep in touch with him and send him my essays and that he would love to help me in any way and answer any questions I might have. He also told me that a resume is not everything. You can have a 4.0 GPA and a 40 on the MCATs, but if you're gonna be arrogant at your interview, you will not be accepted. What a wonderful person!

And then I was thinking, well, I damn well deserve to be mentored, to be helped by someone! I have all the credentials and qualifications, more than most even. And even tough I have a "mentor" who puts me down every chance he gets, I am smart and good at what I do. I published a paper in a good journal. It's not great in his eyes, but it's good. And I put so much work into it and wrote the whole thing myself - before he rewrote it completely - and now I am working out a whole new project in a whole new system with a whole new cell type and it's starting to work and I am damn proud of myself, no matter what he says. He is also the kind of mentor who doesn't really care about his students or employees personal lives. I guess that's fine, although it's hard for me to imagine how someone can be that way. He has no idea about how talented and multi-faceted all the people working for him are! He has no idea and doesn't seem to care about us as people; only as scientists who carry out his ideas, whenever he has any.

It's not about kissing ass. It's about people who see the potential in others and try to help them; maybe the way someone had helped them out before. It's about sharing your story and your plans with someone who can appreciate them and who might have the power or will to nudge you a little forward; even if it's just a tiny little step forward. It's about somebody believing in you and realizing your potential; and then having that something that good teachers and mentors have, that willingness to try to make people better and encourage them to reach higher and higher. It's about paying it forward.