To run or not to run

I've been dying to write for the past week or so but we have been having internet issues once again (yes, still hurricane Sandy after-effects) but I am so happy that I can once again access my blog this morning!

Someone was just asking me about my blog and what was its theme. I said it started out mostly about running, back when I first got into long-distance "racing" and marathons. But honestly, I cannot remember the last time I had a running-themes post... which is sad. I thought then, maybe I should change the title. The more I thought about it though, the stronger I felt that no matter what, no matter how little time I have, how other things in life take priority, running is still and will always be a part of it. I still run. Not very much, not too often, but I am a runner. There are days when I just need to go out there and run off some anxiety, anger, or just because I want to run. Simple.

My heart wasn't all the way in the marathon this year. I had registered back in the spring, since the deadline is so early, I figured I would do it just in case. Then the summer came and went by without training. The fall arrived and med school started and I found myself increasingly short of time and always stressed to find more for things that seemed more important. Then my foot started hurting and I was convinced I had another stress fracture. Even after that had been ruled out, I wasn't feeling it. It was already too late for the November marathon to get into full race shape, so I quit, I canceled. First time I ever canceled a race. Of course, at the time I had no idea the race would be canceled anyhow in the aftermath of Sandy. It didn't matter to me anymore.

But here I am, in the middle of the winter now, and I am still running. Most weeks, just once or twice, sometimes on treadmill. But I can feel that I need it, I want it. It clears my mind, releases stress, anxiety, whatever it is that I feel building up inside.

I recently read an interview with my favorite New York Times columnist, Nicholas Kristof, about running. I love this bit at the end:

I'm curious about one last thing. For me, running became something that allowed me to take action, that somehow instilled in me a sense of courage and ability to act. You are someone who very much takes action in your reporting and advocacy. I'm curious whether running informs or reinforces your ability to muster the courage to be a voice against injustice?I think that running helps me step away from details and sort out larger ethical issues and what I should do about that. It gives me perspective about what's important and what I can do about it. In that sense, I think it helps galvanize me to try to make a difference.
It offers clarity. It offers clarity about priorities. So often, my day is all about details. This lets me step back and soar above it all and see what is truly important.

So true! Could not have put it any better myself.

For example, today, I was out and about in the city all day. I decided to walk all the way to the Upper West Side, which must be about 3-4 miles from my apartment. It was one of those incredibly clear and crisp winter days, which I love so much. But the walk across midtown during the holidays is s stressful affair. The crowds were just horrible. I even stopped at the MOMA thinking I could take a peak at The Scream and Starry Night while I have time (it's free for NYU students to go to most NYC museums, so it's worth a trip even just to look at one favorite painting) but the lines and the crowds were too overwhelming. I saw the paintings through an army of tourists taking pictures with their cell phones and practically ran out of the museum!

It's already dark outside and I can't muster the courage to go out in the cold, so I am just gonna head down to the treadmill and watch some silly TV. A run is a run anyhow. Maybe tomorrow in the snow :)