Big hugs from everyone in lab, celebratory lunch at Spice, a great bottle of Champagne from Rob which I shared with the handful of people still stuck in lab between the holidays. At Beth Israel, I chaperoned a young girl who just found out she was pregnant to get a sonogram and got to share in her moment of first seeing her baby on the screen and hear its heartbeat - only 7 weeks old (in utero), which was beautiful. A new life. Wow.
Today, we examined my green card under the microscope - yes, we are huge nerds! Not only are there a picture, fingerprint, signature, name, birth date and gender in 3 different places on the front of it, there is also a hologram in the back which shows a smaller version of the front and miniature pictures of all the presidents of the US so far and all the state flags. Only really visible under the microscope. Although, funnily enough, the only reason I could tell it was the presidents by eye was that there was a row of a bunch of white dots and one black dot at the very end of the line. Indeed, the black dot is our current president.
It was looking like a busy busy day until at around 4pm, Jana started asking around the floor about how long people were going to stay. There were a few of us with long experiments, and so what better to do than cook from spiced hot wine! Of course, who wouldn't think of that??? A quick run to the liquor store, pick up some spices and fruits, a few minutes in the microwave and then there we had about 10 people sitting around the lunch table drinking hot spiced wine at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, on the 4th floor of a research hospital :) I love love my lab people!!!!!!
Later at yoga in a tree pose - balancing on one leg while the bottom of the other one is resting against the inner thigh and arms are raised high into the air - I was trying to focus on a candle in the window. I knew that if I looked away or even thought about looking away then I would immediately fall. So I was trying so hard not to think that I was thinking of not thinking and then thinking of the things I didn't want to think about and there I was stumbling over. The teacher said "Let it go, softer in the face" and as I got up to tree again I relaxed my face and smiled and realized that I had been trying so hard to let go my face was all crunched up and once I relaxed it, I was able to just be there.
When something is bothering me or making me sad, it makes the most sense to try to let go of it, not think about it, just blocking it out, never hear about it again! Maybe that's the problem: I am trying so hard that it becomes an obsession, it becomes more important than the thing I am looking for, which would be being free from that thought, feeling or thing. So now, I will not try so hard. I will think about it when it comes to my mind and I will smile and realize that it's ok and it will pass soon like everything does. And then I will turn to something else and I know that eventually the weight will lift entirely.
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