Just listen

Not to show off - ok, maybe a little - but I got a smaller award today :) a certificate of recognition from Beth Israel for my volunteer work. It comes with a pin which says "Caught Being Great!" and a free coffee at the hospital cafeteria. This goes back to October when I first started volunteering at the ER and had a long talk with a lonely and anxious patient who remembered my name and later wrote to the president of the hospital about how grateful she was for volunteers and mentioned my name in particular. When I showed up to sign in today at the volunteer office for my usual shift, there was this envelop waiting for me with the certificate in it. It was sweet of the volunteer coordinator to nominate me for this recognition and we had a short chat before I headed off to the ER.

It's been super busy there at Beth Israel these past few weeks. The freezing temperatures, holidays approaching, everybody stressed, drinking, taking drugs, getting into fights. Tonight, guy about my age walks in with horrifying wounds on his face, bleeding with his very concerned girlfriend in tow. He keeps telling everyone that the other guy got it worse. He flirts with the nurses, with me, with everyone in the hallways who has boobs. Definitely high on something. Everyone stares at him as he walks by; it's hard not with the way his face looks. I am taking them to his bed, and he keeps telling everyone with a smile on his face that he is in fact perfectly fine and the other guy is probably not. Later on in the evening, he is sitting with a very attractive woman - not his girlfriend - his face is a bit cleaned up, but still looking a bit frightening, he's telling her the story, I overhear a few words about a bar and a big fight. He came in at 8 pm. Oy.

In any case, there is always something to do there; or at least something interesting to watch or overhear. There are always small dramas unfolding there in front of our eyes. Lives in turmoil, people who are not living their finest moments. And then there are the quiet old ladies of the ER who just seem to be waiting. I notice about half an hour into my shift that an older lady is making eye contact with me. That usually means that they need something and they noticed my volunteer badge. I walk over to her bed and the words start pouring out of her. She just needed someone to listen. She tells me several times about her husband who's in a nursing home because he has dementia and he keeps running away from the home. She tells me about every grandchild and cousin and niece and her childhood in Jersey City; meanwhile I start getting anxious about maybe missing something. Does a nurse need me to carry some samples to the lab? Is there a patient in desperate need of some juice? Am I needed somewhere? Am I missing something exciting? Then I realize that this is what's most important. Simply listening. Somebody else can run the labs and get the juices, but nobody else who works in the ER will sit with a patient for even 2 minutes to listen to them. Not because they are bad people, but they are so busy and overworked and understaffed that they simply can't afford to. And here I am with all the time in the world to just sit and listen for a few minutes.

Not just to lonely patients in ER's, but we should make more of an effort to listen more carefully to each other. With all our crazy lives and busy schedules, sometimes it's difficult to take the time and stop and really listen, without an agenda. It's easy to get caught up in our worries and anxieties and talk and talk and talk. I certainly do it all the time. But sometimes it's just what I need: to be able to forget about all that I want to talk about, and just listen.