Not my loss

We met through a mutual friend and then saw each other at a New Year's Eve party. I sort of had a crush on him, but not enough to do much about it at the time. At the party though, he asked me out. A few days later, we went out for coffee, had a good time, things seemed to be going well. I barely knew him, but he was cute, athletic and intelligent and I didn't even pay enough attention to the rest. I let my guard down too fast. I should have seen it from the beginning: after a couple of promising dates, he disappeared. The last thing he said to me was that he would call to make plans. Then, next time we ran into each other on the street, it was like we never even met. He passed me without saying hi. For weeks, I was upset about it.

A few months later, we met again through our friend. I considered not going to the event, but I thought, how stupid, because of this guy, I am not gonna stop hanging out with her and turn down her invitation. It was a small group, I ended up sitting next to him for a couple of hours. Every time I looked over at him or he opened his mouth to speak, I thought "what the hell did I like in this guy?". He's sort of rude, not particularly funny, has a funny comb-over (I have no problems with balding men, really, but comb-overs are not cool!), overall, not a very kind person I think.

It dawned on me suddenly: I never really liked him. I was just flattered when he asked me out, I liked that he was so athletic and had that sort of over-confident manly thing going for him that can be missed for attractiveness sometimes and masks insecurities and weaknesses. But really, what kind of a man is he? Not a real one, I think. Or at least not one I would ever want to fall in love with. We took a cab back to the Upper East Side, got out near his place. Not for a moment did I consider walking with him; I said "Goodnight" and took the longer way home. I smiled, felt very secure and confident knowing that it wasn't my loss at all.